Crazy Cabbie

I had a crazy cab driver last night. So crazy that by the end of the ride I was actually looking for a hidden camera and waiting for him to present me with a release form to sign for some low budget Canadian reality-show. Let’s start with a visual - he looked like Mr. Miyagi from the karate kid but crazy with big coke bottle glasses, crooked teeth and his hair flying every which way.
He was very hyper from the start - he asked if I was excited for Christmas because it was only 34 days away. He went on to talk about how slippery and dangerous the roads where but not to worry, he said with his thickly accented voice, he grew up in Timmons so he can handle the weather. He than put on some of what he called his fast driving music, some trippy music about rockets and planes and such. The music was accompanied by some hand clapping and one armed flying gestures intended to mimic a plane in flight or some sort of spastic bird. His ADHD or drug addled ness was so bad that he kept changing the CD’s before any song had a chance to end quickly flipping from one tune to the next. My personal favourite was when he put on the Carpenters and started singing 'We've only just begun’...in a high-pitched attempt at a feminine voice. Within moments successfully hijacking the memory of riding around with my mom in her wood-paneled station wagon that hearing the Carpenters usually provokes.
He sang and clapped and drove and talked. He talked about how the hill we were on was like a ski hill or something because it was solid ice. Sometimes despite the cold he would unroll his window to see better. Sometimes he would try to talk to people outside. One time he asked have you been to San Francisco, the words shifting into singing as he flipped on a tune with the lyrics, ‘are you going to San Francisco?’ At one point he burped a few times without apology or remorse. Just before the ride ended there was that magical moment when he was so inspired by his music and singing that he picked up the tambourine lying next to him on the passenger seat and started hitting his thigh and the steering wheel with it.
Crazy people are drawn to me at all times...it is my gift...it is my curse.